and myself not to mention a lack of sleep. Edited for space saving purposes. Enjoy.

Dog says:
dear coffee,
if I drank you
I'd be all over your ass right now
but you're too bitter, and we're too different
It just never really worked out for me
I hope we can still be friends
Love,
Molly
PS- I don't actually love you, but I feel obligated to write love before my name.
tyleroutragedurden@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
Dear Coffee's hot sister Mocha,
your brother is a bitter asshole
but you're delicious
I want your taste inside my mouth
Fuck yeah, mocha!
Sincerely, you know who this is
Dog says:
Dear Chai Tea,
You are no longer the other man.
I've dropped Coffee's ass just to be with you.
You're the only one for me.
You're so hot and delicious.
I'd have you any day of the week.
Come over tomorrow and I'll suck on you for a bit. Call me.
LOVE, Molly
PS- Fuck tomorrow. Come over here as soon as you get this. I need you now.
tyleroutragedurden@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
Dear Bawls,
Forget what people will say, I love sucking on you
Holding you by the blue bumps is wonderful
And your taste is delicious
Filled with caffeine, but not bitter
I need Bawls in my mouth
Love, Jared
Dog says:
Dear Bawls,
Forget Jared.
He's totally gay for you.
What you need is a whole lotta woman.
And I know I can handle you in large amounts.
Damn, you taste so good.
And you're ribbed exterior feels amazing.
I can fix that case of blue balls for you.
Love, Molly
tyleroutragedurden@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
Dear Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator
You've got what I crave, electrolytes
What are electrolytes? What I crave
What I crave is electrolytes, which you have
And that's why I crave you
Not water, like from the toilet
Love, Jared
PS - I like money
Dog says:
Dear Rockstar,
Get the fuck out
You've got a huge ego for such a crappy delivery.
You always leave a bad after taste in my mouth and you always take too long to finish.
It's not even in a good, savory way
I just don't want you all at once because I get sick if I do.
Maybe you should get checked out for health problems.
-Molly
PS-This goes for you too, monster
tyleroutragedurden@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
Dear Mountain Dew
You are from from the best
But you are the best of the easily accessed
When I'm not feeling up to working hard to get one of the better ones, you fill my needs quite nicely
But don't ever expect me to leave them for you. Ever.
I know I said I would, then it would be only us, but I lied
Sorry, Jared